"The more beautiful the spider, the more poisonous. Just like woman!"

Photos and words by: Erin and Jeff

Ha Long Bay is an idyllic waterway made up of thousands of limestone karsts.  The locals call it “Descending Dragon Bay.”

The only way to explore this mystical bay is by Junk Boat.  A Junk Boat is a cross between a yacht and a cruiseliner (we have no idea why they call it a “Junk”), and not all Junks are equal. There are plenty of boats that cater to the backpacker crowd – they are cheap and you get what you pay for. There are also plenty of high-end boats that cater to those people who will pay for luxury at any price.

Erin and Seth spent the morning walking around Hanoi looking for that elusive mid-range boat. After interviewing every boat operator this side of the Mekong River they finally found a solid mid-range boat through Columbus Cruises. When we arrived at the pier the next day, however, we discovered that Columbus had given us a free upgrade onto the Pinta Gold, their high-end luxury boat. Erin was so excited she almost fainted.

There’s something regal about traveling on a first-class boat. We were miles away from civilization, yet like kings and queens they served us 10-course meals on white linen tablecloths and embroidered napkins. After dinner we moved to the top deck, ordered frozen lemonade from the bar, and spiced it with some vodka we smuggled on board. We enjoyed a perfect sunset and then sipped cocktails under the stars. It was pure bliss.

We spent our days cruising around the bay and periodically getting off the boat to swim and spelunk. We stopped for a tour of Sung Sot (the “Cave of Awe”) which was otherworldly and would make the perfect set for a science fiction movie if they could ever figure out how to get a camera crew in there.

We also went kayaking to a secluded lagoon and then passed by a floating village.

After we finished kayaking, the Pinta Gold had to head back to the pier to drop off some passengers and pick up others, and so a separate boat came to take us for lunch on a private beach. Just when we thought they couldn’t possibly pamper us any more, they set up a dining room table on the beach and served us another 10-course lunch from the kitchen on the boat.

After lunch our guide Duok led us on a 2-hour jungle trek on Cat Bay Island.  Climbing through the dense jungle we passed hundreds of huge spiders, some with beautiful orange, yellow and purple spots. Duok made sure that we admired the beautiful spiders from a distance. “The more beautiful the spider, the more poisonous,” he explained. “Just like women.” We laughed and asked Duok why he was down on beautiful women. He told us about his recent break-up with his girlfriend: “She was very beautiful and very poisonous.”

Duok's Girlfriend